Dark Angel's Wings

Artist: Heidi Lee, 43

Boston, MA

Ethnicity: Korean

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“Dark Angel’s Wings” Acrylic on canvas turbulent emotions swirling through my veins Shards of broken bodies Am I a sinner Am I a saint can both reside within the same entity protect me, dark angel save me from myself This 12x12 inch painting describes the internal process of one clinging on by a thread, uncertain if they will make it to the following day, uncertain if the suicidal ideations will overtake them. Feelings of terror, relief, desperation, yet clinging to hope — all within the same entity. This was one night I almost did not make it through. Ive survived suicidal ideation since age 11, but this particular night was more aggressive than most after being raped by a “friend.” Painting this internal world helped me see the depth of my pain and (even more than a diagnosis) helped me to see that if I did not fight for my life, I would not have received that second chance. Painting this reminded me of the healing power of art and reflection. My message of hope to others is to fight like hell for the things that matter most — You Matter. Fight for the best version of you. You have so much to give.